So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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