I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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