did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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