Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
