I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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