Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
