youre lurking in front of me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Who died my cat blue again?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
