Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You made out with two different species that night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
