she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
