If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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