your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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