I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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