Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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