Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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