And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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