If i come over, it means nothing
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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