I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
