Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
