i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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