Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
