i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
