please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
