Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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