These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I would ride that face into the sunset
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
