I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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