This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
