No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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