so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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