Dual....:-)
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize