Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
