Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
