i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
