is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
