the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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