you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
