he puts the penis in happiness.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
