don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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