just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Green mimosas i think yes
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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