First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
May the power of my ass compel you!!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
