I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Terrible idea I love it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
