Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
