We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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