If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
