Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
