just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
