Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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