my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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