Heybabeimwearingurpanties
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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