We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
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As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
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I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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