I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
