...so i touched it.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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