I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
