Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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