never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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