so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
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2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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