I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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