My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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