If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
