I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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