dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
I smell stomach acid.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I need a beard to bite.