Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.